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Just Another Pony


imahaxor

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Just Another Pony

A Tulpa Progress Report by imahaxor

 

Introduction

 

It was on the 1st of November when I stumbled upon tulpa.info, browsing the /mlp/ board out of sheer boredom. I had previous knowledge of the term tulpa thanks to an infamous creepypasta, so it piqued my interest and I read up on the faq's and guides. The whole concept sounded so cool, I couldn't wait to get started. I decided I would force an hour in the morning when I got out of bed and an hour before bed. I figured it was a solid routine and one I could stick to easily.

 

Nov 1-10

 

[align=left]I decided to work on a wonderland first. The first time I forced I used a very basic wonderland, it just kinda popped into my head when I read FAQ_Man's guide. It was an unremarkable apartment/dorm style room, lightly furnished with very few details or colors. It was so basic, it was a perfect place for concentration. I then tried starting my tulpa with a personality, but I found it extremely difficult to assign a personality to something without a form.

 

I was dead set on a female pony, but was it a form I could live with in the long-term? I ultimately decided that the form didn't matter at all. Even if I lost interest in MLP or the fandom, the only thing that matters is who she is on the inside. I then started to visualize her and started to work on her personality. She is (as of now) a white pegasi with scarlet eyes and a two-toned azure mane and tail, I haven't yet decided on a cutie mark yet. As for her personality, I fashioned her after a part of me, but I wanted her to have a brash/adventurous side. I worked on both these things for about 20 hours, and then I decided it was time to take the next step. [/align]

 

I decided to create a new wonderland, because I felt that the previous dull grey apartment would be pretty depressing for her. This new wonderland was BY FAR much better. It started out as a vast grassy plain with a breathtaking endless blue sky stretching above. It's so peaceful and free, it's the perfect place for her. Most of the time I would just sit down in the grass and talk to her about anything and everything about me. At first she would just sit there and stare at me with an attentive look in her eyes, but little by little she would make little movements; like an ear twitch or a nod. I started getting better and better with visuals and now I can envision her doing most anything, even expressions and such.

 

I tried a bit of vocalizations and such to test sentience, but all her responses triggered doubt in me. It wasn't until I read several guides and threads here on the forum I decided to let the feelings of doubt go and to just have fun with my tulpa. It was when I tried the whole "ask your tulpa to surprise you" thing that I knew I got a legitimate response. The first time I tried it I was greeted with a playful punch to the chest, and the second time I got my face licked. Not gonna lie, that second really caught me off guard.

My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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It looks like you're off to a great start! It's good that you put thought into your pony's form, there are some people that make pony tulpa without considering the idea that in 5 years, they may not even care about MLP.

Tina: Human Tulpa and loving it. Born October 29, 2012

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Yeah, I actually stressed about that quite a bit. I spent almost a whole day thinking about how a tulpa would affect my life in the long run and what form to choose. I kinda feel like I need to expand on this a bit, or at least why I decided on a pony as a form for my tulpa. Like any fandom, when you take interest and devote your time to it; you gather experiences from it and it shapes you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but when it comes down to it MLP has probably influenced me more than I would care to admit. Whether it be the cheesy morals of the show, or the openness of the community, it has been a big factor in how I perceive things now. So that's why I decided on a pony for my tulpa. Because 20 years down the road I would still be able to look back on my tulpa and tell her all the feelings I had for the show and how she reminds me of all the things I learned, and how it influenced me.

 

Sorry about the paragraph, I'm not good with getting my point across with few words. XD

My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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I got 2 pony tulpae. Lyra says that if I ever lose interest in MLP she probably will also and just change shape. I don't know about Tessa though, she doesn't really want to think about changing right now as it might hurt my feeling. But they are still quite young. Who knows what they think about it in a few years or even months.

You like my kitten? come on over for a closer inspection!

 

Newbie tulpamancer on the loose.

 

Check out my progress report:

http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-Another-Lyra-tulpa

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Shape-shifting tulpae huh? I didn't think that was possible. Then again, neither was the whole concept of tulpa to me at first.

 

Nov 11

 

So this first bit isn't directly about my tulpa, but feel it is very relevent. The morning of Nov 10 I woke up and decided to go watch the season premiere for MLP, which I had recorded on my DVR. When I walked out into the living room I saw that my parents were watching T.V., and they quickly noticed that something was recording and decided to check it out. Needless to say, they were pretty stunned when I told them I was a brony and that I enjoyed the show. I was sweating bullets the entire time, being a closet brony, and was certain that they would start judging me. Surprisingly, everything went better than expected. My dad just trolled me a bit and I brushed him off, my mom didn't completely understand but I felt she wasn't bothered by it. I was beyond relieved after that incident.

 

Later that night, I was forcing before bed and was shocked by the changes that had been made. First I saw that the grey, unremarkable, room I had used previously for visualization was completely different. It had taken on a peaceful, zen-like atmosphere and taken on a traditional, oriental-type appearance. That was shocking, but not as shocking as the changes in my tulpa. She had dropped her original 2D look and opted instead for a full 3D realistic one. The blank look in her eyes was completely gone, and was replaced by a vibrant, shining ruby red. It was awesome, and I think it was due to the fact that I had overcome the anxiety of being judged that was plaguing my subconscious. That fear was probably suppressing the growth of my tulpa, and by combating the fear it enebled it to grow faster. That's just a theory anyway.

My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Nov 12

 

Recently, I have started listening to the Tulpatone made by Fede. I didn't notice much of a difference when I tried it before bed, I found the noise to be too obnoxious and decided to force without it. The next morning I decided to try it a second time, except this time I was forcing on the bus. The tone did wonders; when it mixed with the noise around me I felt that it was much easier to get into a forcing state. My concentration held pretty well for the entire hour ride to school and that was amazing. We spent most of the time working on touch and sentience. She isn't vocal but I feel she can communicate emotionally very well.

My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Nov 13-15

 

This week at school was really short, (only three days!) so I spent most of the time in my classes narrating to my tulpa. I keep thinking about what my life will be like when she's fully imposed; it all seems so surreal. No major milestones in the last couple of days, but we have had a couple ridiculous adventures involving sword fights (all in fun, of course!).

 

More updates to come, as I have a LONG weekend ahead.

My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Nov 16-17

 

During the start of my long weekend, (the 16th) I found myself home alone. It was the perfect time to force so I finished whatever menial tasks I had to do for the day to eliminate any potential interruptions. I turned on tulpatone on my iPod and sat down on my bed. After a quick minute or two, I was in my forcing state, and found myself in the usual dojo style room I had grown accustomed to.

 

It was then I decided we should put more work into vocals in speech. I just had her repeat some sentences and stuff, nothing major. I thought this part would have been easy, but her voice is never the same. It kinda feels like she's just using voices that I've heard before, but I guess she's just trying to find out what she likes I guess.

 

Today my brothers and I had to go run errands and do some shopping and such, so I forced most of the time. Well, I don't know if you could call it forcing; as it isn't a deep meditative state, but my tulpa was on my mind and that's all that mattered. It then occurred to me that shopping would be SO much more fun with a tulpa, maybe I'll ask her about it later.

 

I finally came up with a good name: Noel.

Of course, I'll just have to wait until she's sentient to see if she likes it.

Then again none of us were given the chance to choose our names, for example if I were to give myself a new name right now it would sound ridiculous and stupid. And I'm fairly certain no one has ever grown up hating their name; I would hope.

My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Nov 18-20

 

The week of Thanksgiving has been pretty hectic, but even so I managed to do quite a bit of forcing in the past few days. The hour long forcing sessions before bed usually don't yield the best results, mostly because I fall asleep. Lately though I have found that forcing on the bus ride to school seems to be more effective. I think it's because in the morning hours I'm tired and my I haven't fully woken up for the day, in terms of my brain, anyway.

 

At this point my visualizing skills with my minds eye are at pro status. My only complaint is that my forcing sessions don't feel lucid enough. I'm not sure if it's supposed to or not, it just seems like it would be better if it was.

 

Most of we spend our time in the wonderland doing narration and explore new areas that she/I create on a whim. I'm honestly not sure if some of the things in my wonderland are made by me or not. Just yesterday I found an unfamiliar staircase and when I followed it up I reached a 2nd floor loft style bedroom that I didn't even know existed. It's pretty plain, but I'm sure I can help her spruce it up.

 

Communication is getting a bit clearer, she's pretty big with expressions even though she isn't vocal most of the time.

My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Nov 21-23

 

Noel and I were able to get quite a bit of work done over the past couple of days. First and foremost, I decided to start working on imposing our wonderland on my senses. I think if I can make my forcing sessions seem more lucid/realistic, it will help me get into a more productive and meaningful meditative state.

 

I thought it would be easy, but it was extremely difficult at first. Usually if I need to go anywhere in our wonderland I would simply teleport there. A task as simple as trying to walk across a room without having my mind take shortcuts was incredibly annoying. I'm pretty sure Noel was amused by most of this, watching me fumble around like an idiot. After a couple of hour long sessions, I think I started to make some progress. I could feel the floor beneath my feet, and I could walk around a little bit better.

 

Now that our wonderland was somewhat solid and ground into "reality", I thought that we should take some time and add to our home. I expanded a couple walls and made a kitchen, adding small furniture and stuff along the way. Then, to my surprise, the floor collapsed and revealed a basement library. I was really excited and figured that it was Noel's doing.

 

After I got the floors patched up I decided to add a door to my subconscious in the library, I've heard of other people doing this so why not? Apparently your subconscious can be a scary place, so I locked the door and told Noel that we would see what's inside when we're ready. Is there any benefit to being able to look inside your subconscious?

My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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